Leaders, Leadership, Service?

This last year, I've really discovered what kind of a person I am when it comes to groups. I've never really liked group work because most of the time, I've been the one desiring to do the best job, which means I get put in charge of delegating responsibilities, and making sure everything's going smoothly. I've figured out, I don't lead that way. In fact, I am reconsidering my definition of what it means to be a leader.

I've always thought that to be a leader, you had to be part of the administration, you had to be able to make the decisions and lead a large group through something successfully. Now, I'm not so sure. As I went through last year, I discovered some things about myself and how I operate.

I like to help.

That's really what it boils down to. I just want to help people do what they want to do, and to help them do it well. That's why I loved being a stage manager. I wasn't out on stage with the attention on me (though I do love acting too), but rather, I was helping the director to see her vision fulfilled with the actors and musicians and technicians. I was helping to make it the best show it could be. I was helping the actors stay on time, and helping them with what they needed to give their best performances. Last year, I also had the opportunity to be the President of Chamber Singers. However, I discovered that that position was not a place I thrived. People tend to give me respect. They listen to me, Why? I have NO IDEA. But it happens. So people naturally assume that I would make a good leader in the form of a President. And so did I, for a while. But last year I had to re-evaluate what that position meant, and decided to step down from being a part of the choir's leadership.

Just recently, I was talking with my roommate and said to her..."I just want to support the decisions and actions of the leaders who are ready to be in place." That's where I thrive. When there's something to help with. Something to set up, something to send out, just some thing to do. That's why I love my job as an assistant, that's why I want to be a consultant for a bridal salon - I just like to help people find what they're looking for and to have the best experience possible. When my roommate heard me say these things, her response was "THAT'S that attitude that tells me you are TOTALLY a leader." Today she even sent me a link to a blog post she read. She entitled the email "You're a Leader I tell You!" (Find the post by Jon Acuff here).

I'm still not sure that loving to serve qualifies me for the term "Leader", but maybe I'm using the wrong definition. What do you think?