Diagnosis

The fainting saga has likely come to an end, thank goodness. I had an appointment at the Faint and Fall Clinic at the University today, and here's what they said:

1. There are a couple things I can do to increase the amount of time between feeling faint and actually fainting, but they won't alleviate the symptoms.
2. Most cardiologists would have put me on a pacemaker because of my 8-second gap in heartbeat
3. They're putting me on medication.

I'm interested to see if it's going to work - it takes about 4-6 weeks I guess, and then I'll go back to the clinic in 3 months. I just want to be able to go through a week without feeling like I need to sit down or I'm not going to be able to function, which right now, isn't happening. I don't faint every week, but I still get lightheaded/dizzy/faint and the occasional blackout at least every week. So there will probably be more stories to come about how things are working and more dr. visits later on.

Graceful...Part IV

Well, today was another adventure in the realm of my body and fainting. My doctor scheduled me for a Tilt Table Test at the U today. 8am - Morgan and I rolled into the cardiovascular clinic for the test.

Let me tell you, it was an interesting experience! Blood pressure cuff on each arm, sensor on my left wrist, IV in my right arm, gazillions of EKG leads all over the front of me. The IV took a while to get in, and the nurse had to call a woman from "the stick team" to actually get the needle in...ouch!

Then, I'm supposed to lie on this table for 20 minutes (as all this hooking up, needle sticking, and velcroing is happening). Then, a doctor comes in and I'm set up in an almost standing position (still strapped to the table). This is supposed to remove any support from muscles or the skeleton that may affect my heart rate/blood pressure, etc. So my body is left to its own devices - or at least the blood pumping system is.

About 3 minutes into the test I started feeling kinda funky and then my vision went starry and I began to blackout. The doctor and nurse were asking me how I was doing, and when I responded "I can't see" they took me down from the standing position and into lying down again. As I came to, my hearing was really muffled and I couldn't hear very well, but was able to make "grunting" noises in response to the doctor's questions.

They started pumping fluids into my veins to help me recover more quickly - and that did help. A full liter was gone by the time I left the office. The nurse started talking to me about what had happened and said that she'd never had someone pass out so quickly in the test. The doctor said it was DEFINITELY positive for Vasovagal Syncope, and that I actually passed out twice in the passing out. I guess my body started to recover a little from the first episode and then went back down into passing out mode again. The nurse said my heart actually stopped beating for 8 seconds, and she hasn't seen that kind of pause in a while!

How timely this was is interesting. The U is just starting a "Faint and Fall" Clinic in November with an expert in the field of fainting/collapsing/what-have-you. They said they're going to get me an appointment there as soon as it starts up, so that I can talk to a doctor there about what's happening and how to avoid these episodes.

So there you have it - the continuing saga of graceful fainting.

Graceful...the continuing drama

Well, a week after the last post entitled "Graceful" I did not attend my voice lesson due to lightheadedness, I could no longer stand, so my roommate/coworker took me to a local clinic to see a doctor. He wasn't sure what was happening and ordered some blood work to check out my kidney/liver function, thyroid, and iron count. I went in for a follow up appointment a week later, all the tests had come back normal, so now it's time for more tests.

On Wednesday, I had an echocardiogram, and this coming Tuesday morning I will have something called a "Tilt Table Test", which should be interesting. I guess if the Tilt Table comes back positive, he'll diagnose me with something called Vasovagal Syncope, but if it comes back negative, I'll be referred to cardiology and have to monitor my heart for a while or something like that.

Please pray that my doctor would have continued wisdom to identify and remedy the problem in my body.

Graceful...part two

Today brought another onset of lightheadedness complete with bouts of blacking out...and though I didn't actually lose consciousness today, I would describe what happened as passing out. Goodness - I was taken to Student Health Services this afternoon and they weren't able to find something wrong with me...he said it sounded like hypoglycemia, but when my bloodsugar was checked, it was normal, as was my blood pressure, and heart rhythm. Most of the people I work with, as well as my roommates are now encouraging me to see a doctor about what's going on...so we'll see where that goes. It's just weird!

Young Minds

Tonight, while babysitting, I read a book about stars to my young charges. It had all sorts of cool facts that I found quite interesting, and really cool pictures of space and stars, etc.

What was really cool, was that I showed the 6-year-old one of the pictues and pointed out where a supernova from 3,000 years ago still had light shining in space. This was confusing to him. He continued to ask me questions about space and stars and sky and anything else he could figure was related to the supernova still shining light after 3,000 years. But the first thing he wanted to know was how long 3,000 years was.

This conversation lasted quite a while and eventually led into talking about clouds, gravity, and the water cycle.

Some of the concepts he grasped, others, he did not, but he's got a curious mind that wants to know more and wants to know "why"...which I think is awesome. I've read other books to him before about sharks and water creatures, and we've talked about sea monster legends, and how big whales and squid can be! :)

I love watching young minds get curious about the world and ask questions, even if they don't totally get the answers right now...the fact is, they're hungry to learn, and I love that.

fun.

That's the word that sums up today!

For the last 5 weeks, we've been in one room that's a couple minutes walk away from the building we're living in, and today, we had to move out. So that meant packing up the toys and games and hauling them in vehicles up to the other building. Not so fun. The fun part came with what we discovered in the closet...a long cardboard tube that resembled what comes off a paper towel or toilet paper roll. This was then used to play Ninja. Upon breaking in half, it was then used as swords and multiple sword fights ensued employing quotes from the movie "The Princess Bride".

After about a 30 minute lunch break, we reconvened in the new room, where the kids started building a fort using yarn, chairs, and blankets. I was impressed by their creativity. While fort building was taking place, two kids at a time came out with me and tie-dyed shirts! My hands are still stained from the dye, and this was hours ago! All the kids were able to do a shirt, only one of the kids doesn't have one, but he's 14 months...we'll make one for him later when Katie and I do ours.

Tonight was interesting as well, there was a "project fun night" and the opportunity to climb an outdoor rock wall, bungee jump on a trampoline, as well as mini-mini golf. Originally I'd planned on golfing, but was sucked in to the bungee crowd. It looked sort of fun, but quite frightening, but somehow, I was coerced into getting up on one. It was definitely fun, and I'm glad I did it! The sensation of one's stomach jumping into one's throat is not easily forgotten. There were several times I couldn't touch the trampoline with my feet and was just dangling in mid-air...so weird!

All-in-All, a fun day! I've now got to sleep and get ready to hike with some of the kids in the morning!!!

Playing Mom

I love playing Mommy.

So much.

I don't think I can really describe how much I love being a "mom" to the kids that are in my care. Getting to play with them, Make things with them, Comfort them, tuck them into bed, read stories, and just sit and "be" together.

I babysat some of my kids from childcare the other night and we made Knight's Helmets from newspaper and then took pictures together and then read Dr. Seuss stories.

It has been amazing to get to be with the children here, and it really has strengthened my desire to be a mother. I made spaghetti with one arm for the first time the other day (my other arm was occupied with a baby). And a 2-year-old fell asleep on my shoulder this week...AHHHH!!! I can't even describe how much I want that.

"The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven" ~ William Goldsmith Brown

Home Sweet Salt Lake

We finally made it back to Salt Lake City after a very long day of travel and a slightly delayed flight out of Dublin to Chicago. Everyone in our group made it back in one piece, thankfully, and so did our luggage! Hooray!

Our last night in Dublin was a fun one! Morgan and I went with John and Kagen to see a real session on Thursday night, and it was amazing! The night we were supposed to see one in Limerick, it wasn't happening, and then Chris took us to a pub in Galway that was supposed to have one, but instead we caught the tail end of a wake...not quite what we were looking for (that night I was spilled upon by what I'm told was cider...eew).

BUT, this session was fantastic! Two flutes, a fiddle, an accordion, a guitar, and two mandolins were playing...there were a couple of times they brought out a tin whistle, one woman almost played the uileann pipes, and there was a balladier (sp?) as well! When we had to go, John and Kagen wanted to take a picture with the woman who sang, and they said we were singers from the US, and the musicians essentially forced us to sing right there...we ended up singing one verse of Amazing Grace and then they wanted something "American Gospel" and the first thing we could think of that we knew was "Wade in the Water". What a fun experience, the Irish music was great, and it deepened my love/appreciation of it!!!

As amazing as Ireland was, it's nice to be sitting in my own bed and ready to sleep in Salt Lake again! I'm looking forward to sleeping in and doing nothing but unpacking tomorrow!

"As you slide down the bannister of life, may the splinters face the right way for you" :)

Dublin

I don't have much to say at the moment, but I know that mom's been reading these for updates on what's happening here!

Currently, I do not have a singing voice, I've been hacking for a couple days, and I thought maybe I was getting sick, though nothing else felt icky. Emily, on the other hand, thought it was allergies and gave me some Claritin (I think) today, and that helped to clear things up. I don't have any allergies that I know of, but it was nice to not be hacking up a lung every five minutes today.

Today we sang in St. Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin, and the stained glass windows were glorious! It had a great acoustic (especially compared to the last church we sang in) and the choir sounded great from the audience (since I was sitting watching and not singing).

Tonight we're headed into the city to go to book stores, and there's a chance that I'll buy a dress, but we'll see how that goes. :)

Abientot!

You Did Good, God.

We visited the Giant's Causeway today, and it was absolutely breathtaking. The causeway itself was amazing, but, the cliffs and coastline that surrounded it was simply awe-inspiring. I didn't want to do anything but sit and take in the splendor. As I sat there, between Brady and John, all I kept thinking was "Wow. You did good, God. You did good."

How majestic and powerful the cliffs were and how wonderfully and carefully made it was...painfully beautiful.

Graceful

On the 7th of May, we performed a benefit concert in Ballina, Ireland for the Mayo Cancer Support Center there. This concert took place with another choir and so we only sang the first half of the concert, they did the second and we did a piece together at the end of the night...

Unfortunately, about 3 pieces into the concert, one of our members fainted 3/4 of the way through the piece. It was the first night we had performed Agnus Dei in front of an audience and we followed up that song with Eric Whitacre's Waternight. It was Waternight that witnessed this event, right on the line that reads "If you close your eyes". Talk about perfect timing, huh?

If you haven't already guessed, that choir member, was me. It was the first time I ever fainted in performance and I still haven't heard the end of it, and today is several nights later. I began blacking out, and thought that I could make it to the end of the song, and then go sit down, but, this did not happen. I have no memory of what happened approximately 8 measures before I went down, and I've heard several versions of what happened from almost every member of the choir.

Here's the basics: I took about 2 1/2 steps out from the choir (I was standing in the front row), I looked up at something on the ceiling, and raised my hand like I wanted to grab something, then kind of staggered to the ground in what's been dubbed a "Princess Faint".

When I came to, apparently I was smiling, but I didn't know what had happened or why everyone was asking if I was okay, until Chris looked me in the face and said "You fainted." Then, I was so embarrassed that I started to cry, and Willy Ray took me over to the front row on the side to sit with him for the rest of the concert. Up until then I'd been thinking "why are you waking me up, I was sleeping!" and "Why am I on the ground?" and "Where am I?"

They all took really good care of me, Garrett even asked if I'd eaten anything since falling and got me some brown bread from the hotel bar (yum!). I did not have a concussion, thank goodness, I have a non-visible bruise on my eyebrow from where my head hit the dance floor, and a visible one on my thigh from where my hip hit the floor. There's some smaller bruises on my arm and leg, but I'm totally fine, and nothing major has happened since that would give me pause or a cause to worry.

It is nice, however, to know that when I faint, which isn't often, I do it gracefully and simply slide downward to the floor (the last time I fainted was in a Presbyterian church service and I slid out of a chair!)

Galway to Ballina

Hello again!

Today we left Galway and headed to Ballina, County Mayo, Ireland. The trip was grand, I got sick on the bus the other day, but today was much better. Ali introduced me to a fun new band, and I'm quite excited about getting home and purchasing things on iTunes!! :-)

Our hotel has a spa/pool/health center, and I went and hung out in the jacuzzi tonight and also a steam room, which was wonderful...I haven't been sleeping well, I've been waking up with a cramp in my shoulder for the last couple days, and while sitting in the steam room, a friend massaged my cramp out of my shoulder, which was fantastic, I feel so much better now.

Tomorrow we're going to a secondary school to talk to the students about life in America, etc. and it should be fun. Tomorrow night, we will be giving a benefit concert with, um, let's see if I can get it right... Cor Maigheo. They're a "professional" (i guess) choir here, and our concert will be to benefit the Mayo Cancer Clinic here in Ballina, or County Mayo.

"May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live"

Quick Update -- Compliments

Hello! It's currently 10pm in Limerick, Ireland and we're on our way to see a "session" at one of the local pubs...basically this means we're going to watch people perform traditional Irish music!!! (which, if you've never heard it, it's great stuff!)

I am so overwhelmed by the number of comments I receive when I sign during our concerts. Chris has me interpreting one of our songs in American Sign Language, and everytime I do it, at least 2-3 people come to me and comment on how gorgeous it is. What can I say? The language is beautiful and not enough people get to experience the joy that can come from the blending of two seemingly different things -- one used by those who can't hear, and another by those who use their voices and ears equally.

Also, tonight, I was reminded why I sing. A man came to our concert tonight that was simply needing a lift. He was expecting to pray at the church we were singing in, but instead was stuck listening to our singing. He was so touched and moved by us that he even purchased one of our CDs at the end of the concert. THAT is why I sing. To touch people's lives and allow God to speak through music to people's souls. How powerful is this beauty that is music?

With that, I will leave you to think -- how does music speak to you?

IRELAND!

We're in Ireland! We finally made it, I never thought we'd get here, or that we'd actually board the plane, but we did, and tomorrow morning we're on our way to the third city on our tour! It's been such a great experience so far, and I'm so glad to get to have it with the awesome people in Chamber Singers! There will be pictures when I get back to the states and my own computer, but for now, suffice it to say that Ireland is entirely beautiful. It reminds me a little of home, with how green it is! Tonight, I was called after by an Irishman outside a pub asking why my skirt was so long (we were walking back from a concert, so I had my choir dress on, of course.) The girls I was walking with found it hilarious, at the time, I did not...It was more embarrassing than anything else.

Well, super early morning tomorrow...at this rate it'll be about 5 hours of sleep...eew. I better sign off, I'll probably use my roommate's computers more often now and try to keep updated on what's happening here!

Till we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand!